This Guy Won’t Leave Me Alone!

leave me alone This Guy Wont Leave Me Alone!

So what’s the best way to tell a guy your not interested? Also, why the hell won’t he leave you alone? Why do people become obsessed with other people? Why do some have such a tough time moving on? THE ANSWER: It is because of our emotions. Our emotions make for a chemical romance, an addiction to love that is tough to beat. Like crack, only more painful.

So what exactly is the best way to tell a guy to move one? Sorry but their is no best or right way to tell a man to beat it. Men are hunters, and as any attractive 20 something year old girl will tell you, when a man locks in, he locks in. Sure the girl may start dating, but their are always men on the periphery of the relationship ready to pounce when something goes wrong. Need a shoulder to cry on? I bet 5 guys are their lined up for you and your probably thinking ”awww isn’t Brad such a gentleman”? Men do care, but don’t be fooled. They want more than to just console you.  Until the man finds another girl and develops feeling for her, he will always in his subconscious  hold a small amount of hope that an opportunity may arise that would allow him to have you the way he wants. That perhaps for whatever reason you will change your mind and opinion about him.

So why won’t he leave me alone?Well, like I said, many men are persistent and won’t give up, even if you tell them no, or explain to them that your seeing someone else. Some men do not handle rejection well, but most men, as I just said, will hold out hope. Hope is a funny thing, its a source of strength and weakness all at the same time.  Because of hope, men will rationalize that on some level you do like them, that they do have a chance as long as they don’t give up. So, in your situation, as long as this behavior is not particularly intrusive, it is something that you will just have to put up with as a woman. For example, one of my ex girlfriends, before she dated me exclusively, she dated other guys on and off. Nothing serious. When we started dating exclusively, these men still made their presence and interest known. They did this through simple stealth measures like Facebook. Sending little “hey how are you messages” even though they know she is dating. Or in some cases inviting her to a party nonchalant, like “hey party at my place at 8″. Acting like their “friends” when really they should be backing off.

Even if your exclusively dating someone, men will operate on the periphery. Men should back-off but won’t. They will be nice, they will act like their your friend, but the only reason you two are friends on any level is because YOU have chosen to not allow the relationship to go any further. Unless it is a couple, men and women typically do not have friends of the opposite sex. Men and women are only friends because the woman is not interested sexually in the man.

Now, “it is something that you will just have to put up with as a woman” will not sit well with many girls. When a guy locks in, he is locked in, BUT their does come a point when that man crosses the LINE OF CREEPYNESS. Men acting nice, messaging you infrequently every now & then, inviting you to events or parties, even when your dating is behavior that is tolerable. It is annoying in the sense that it makes you think “why wont this guy leave me alone”, but at the same time, you do not necessarily  feel weirded out. So what do you do when a man crosses the line of creepiness and beings to act stalkerish?

girls creepy guy This Guy Wont Leave Me Alone!
Hey Who’s that Creepy Guy looking at Us?

First off, take stalking seriously. Many men and women think their being stalked when often they are not, however if someones behavior from a previous relationship with, begins to make you feel uneasy and uncomfortable, take the following steps:

  • 1. End the relationship together with the help of a friend or expert.
  • 2. Don’t send mixed messages. Women like attention, it make them feel wanted, but don’t mess with a guy. If it’s over, its over.
  • 3. Agree with one another a period of time of NO contact. Be straightforward with this. Tell him, we can’t talk anymore. Stop contacting me.
  • 4. Don’t talk to mutual friends about your relationship or one another. Remember, its OVER. The other person does not exist.
  • 5. Try avoiding places where the other person frequents if you can. AT LEAST avoid shared places for a month.
  • 6. Go on dates if you like. Just don’t go on dates with co workers or friends of friends. Also, don’t have your friends go around telling everyone your dating.
  • 7. Get a unlisted number, that way you can be selective on who you give your digits out too, and when you call someone they won’t have your number.
  • 8. Keep a list of all times he tried to contact you in a strange way. Like if it seemed like he was just waiting for you.
  • 9. Don’t be nice to him, then mean to him.
  • 10.Tell him all this once. Tell him to back-off that your not interested once. Don’t try to let him down easy. Just let him down and don’t explain yourself.
  • 11. Their must be NO contact. The other person does not exist.
  • 12. Don’t give the person any reason to think about you or talk about you.
  • 13. Seek professional or legal help if all else fails.

Men are way more likely to be stalkers than women, but follow the same steps regardless of sex. Girls tend to be better about moving on. Once they made it up in their mind that it’s over, that they put the man into the “not a chance” category in their mind. That is where he will stay.  So I have a question for you:

Question: Who do you think handles breakups better? Men Or Women?

image © wanderingbert

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