Posts tagged

Happiness

I want to steal that girls heart and make her Like Me

how to make her like me

I meet this cute girl and as it turns out, I’m really liking her. A LOT. She broke up with her boyfriend recently, but they havent broken off ties completely. She still sees him now and again. But trust me, I know she likes me. She is so flirtatious with me, always saying really cute things. She also calls me up regularly to hang out.  The only problem is that when we do actually get some one on one time, she always talks about her exand how they were so cute together and how she misses him bla bla bla. I’m kind of afraid that at some point they will get back together and my chances will be dashed. Oh and she broke up with him, not the other way around.

I REALLY want to be this girls man. I want her to know and understand that im different and better than her ex boyfriend. Have we done anything together yet? No, I haven’t even kissed her. BUT I know that one kiss would change everything. She told me that she has 4 boys on herlist chasing her (including me), and has not  kissed one of them yet.

She gets really jealous when she sees her boyfriend and her other friend together because she does not have that anymore. She also mentioned that she does not see him that much anymore like she used too, but when I went to her ex boyfriends house for a party she was there andI saw a hickey on her neck. She told me he bit her, is that b/s? She also said she would be going home after the party, but I know she slept over his house.

So question. What should I do to steal that girls heart? I want her to know that I’m the man for her if she would give me a chance. I would never hurt that beautiful soul. I would treat her like a princess and do everything I could to make her happy.

Thanks for the question, there is a bit to get into so lets first start off on the ”beautiful soul” nonsense. Cut that out, and get your head on straight. The first thing you need to do is take a break from her. Your becoming infatuated with her and that is not healthy. What I mean by infatuated is Read More…

Girls, stop sabotaging your relationships!

 Girls, stop sabotaging your relationships!

Girls live in a state of constant worry and anxiety in a way men do not I’ve come to learn. Not that it is a bad or good thing, it is what it is. Even if everything seems fine to the man, it never is that way for a woman. The need to be constantly reassured. If their not reassured they begin to worry. OMG you didn’t text her for one day? You must having sex with someone else then. This is what makes being a good boyfriend work, you must complete and compliment her on a regular basis. Always be thoughtful and attentive. It does not matter if you did not fight, or you were too busy to text. Yes their is no logical reason why she should worry, but she worries, and this worrying is why girls need attention. Especially from their man, they need to be reassured that everything is all right, that you still love her and desire her. Read More…

I Lost the Love of my Life, Now I want to Kill Myself

disenchanted life

I take questions regularly (see contact page). I recieved one that is a bit deep and is screaming out for help, so I wanted to address this one as soon as I could. Feel free to comment,  input from you the readers is always welcome.

I liked this girl and we dated. Her name was Ashley. I ended up loving her very much. Her father liked me and told me he would be proud to have me as a son-in-law. Her mother on the other hand, did not think I was worthy, and disapproved of our relationship.Whatever, I never like HER very much anyways, but that is besides the point. As relationships go, mine with Ashley came to a hurtful end. I can’t remember the exact words she used to break it off, but it was along the lines of: “no one loves me the way you do, and I don’t take that for granted; but I just can’t be that girl you want me to be. I want you to be happy but with someone else. Your weight and the fact you don’t have a good job and don’t make good money are a big issue for me and my mom and we both need to move on”.  Not the end of the world right?

I was hurt, but regardless of how I felt, I bucked up and tried to make something of myself so I could be with the girl I loved. I saved up money and went to school and started hitting the gym everyday. 10 months past since we broke up and I was plowing through my self improvement quest. One ordinary day, I was talking with a mutual friend of me and Ashley. She told me Ashley was having a tough with her pregnancy. She thought I knew Ashley was pregnant, I did not. As you can imagine, the woman you love, the woman your working to win back. Finding out that THAT woman was having sex with other guys and was now pregnant, was completely devastating. What followed was YEARS of anxiety and panic attacks. To this day I have not completely gotten over it.

I eventually dated someone else, became religious because of her parents, and tried to be everything that she and her parents wanted me to be,  but never was. Fast foward 2 years and an one abortion later. I decided to end that long term relationship because I was just so unhappy and missing Ashley.

I don’t know whats wrong with me. Ive gone through depression, counseling, test for bi polar (came back negative) . It has been 20 years since we broke up.

I tried to end it all, twice, and failed both times at that too. Because of the wars in Iraq, and soldiers developing PSD(post traumatic stress disorder) I though maybe that’s what is wrong with me. After reading up, I really think I have PSD. I have all the symptoms. Also I get small panic attacks when people bring up that their girl is pregnant or when they talk about how they love their children. Strong emotion come flooding back to me and I am overcome with grief.

Life sucks, and I suck at life. I don’t do well most days. It hurts me deeply when I see 20yr old couples in love, dating, living together, getting on with their life the way I long to do (i’m 44 now). I feel like I have been alone for so long, and the thought of living another twenty too forty years like this is unbearable.

I want more than anything else in the world is to have that life that I feel like I miss out for these past 20 years. That I will find someone who will accept me for who I am and I can have the life I want: Getting married, buying a home together, having children together.

So in addition to  feeling disenchanted with life, having PSD, and living through a life with no meaning. I feel like at my age, I will never attract the woman I want unless I become wealth so I “have the good job and make good money”. See, theirs that you don’t have a good job and don’t make good money” rearing it’s head again.

This reminds me of a song by one of my favorite bands My Chemical Romancecalled disenchanted(that’s why I titled this “Disenchanted with life”). The song goes“your just a sad song, with nothing to say, about a life long wait, for a hospital stay, and if you think that im wrong, this never meant that much to you. I think this little song describes you very well, but It does not have to. Read More…

Find Love, Be Happy, Awesome

 dating sucks

I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but one hard lesson I have learned is if you want a better life, with all the love, happiness, money, and experiences you can think off;  you must take it. Now pay attention, I did not say, “if you want a better life, go buy it.” or ”if you want a better life, try and win the lotto”. I said “take it“, meaning action. Once upon a time, not to long ago, I was down and out, living a quite life of desperation like many others. I had a job that I was not passionate about (only 35 yrs till retirement! ThenI can enjoy life yaaaay)  was dating someone who left me wanting more ( deeper connection). On the outside, everything looked good. Had a job, had a girl, was taking care of myself, but inside I was unhappy. I always thought man if I could go back in time I would do that, OR I wish things would work out a little better like this, or I wish I had that job, or I want to spend a month here… etc etc.  But I can’t, I don’t have the money, I don’t have the time, she won’t let me, I don’t want to end my relationship but I want to date someone else, my job is kinda in the way….all these I thought at one time or another and all of them are just excuses.

Would I be Better off being Young  and Free? 

Thinking like this is the first step to recovery, admit that parts of your life sucks and start changing your mindset from their!  To find love and be happiness in life required honesty and the action to take the life you want for yourself. Once you stop giving your power away to other things you realize that you have the power and your giving it away. Stop doing that. For me, it just dawned on me one day, wishing and hoping and dreaming about how I would like things to be, I just realized that I have nothing to really complain about. I’m young, debt free, good looking and educated. The fact that I have a job that take 70 hrs a week is because of my decisions, the fact that I’m dating someone I’m not sure about is my fault. I can do what ever the hell I want if I put my mind to it, or power in this case. Read More…

Steve Pavlina + polyamory : Simply Can’t Commit : Divorce. What can be learned??

steve pavlina polyamory Steve Pavlina + polyamory : Simply Cant Commit : Divorce. What can be learned??

Steve Pavlina has written extensively about is polyamorous marriage with his wife Erin. Steve writes a personal development for smart people blog and gets millions of uniques a month, so I would be surprised if you never stumbled upon one of his articles (there quite good by the way). So what the heck is polyamory?

It is the practice of having many intimate, both physical and emotional, relationships. With the consent of everyone involved. Like friends with benefits, or like dating multiple people at the same time before you commit to just one. Except no one gets hurt. Or do they? Well get into this.

Honestly, I have no idea how a polyamorous marriage could work. It goes against the whole idea of what a marriage is. First off, girls are different than guys. Particularly when it comes to sex. Girls need a reason, guys need a place. Being in a committed relationship with someone and sharing them physically or emotionally with someone else is playing with fire and inherently hurtful.

Swing Swing to the Other Side

First off, lets look at swinging. Swingers are couples who swap partners for sex, and just sex. This is a good deal for guys as sex with someone new and someone you don’t really know is just shallow physical sex. However for girls, sex is always a bit more emotional. Even if its in a swinging environment where it is supposed to be just fun shallow sex. One person is inherently bound to get hurt. The guy could become jealous, the girl could develop feelings for her other partners, the other guys could be better in bed, whatever. A rift is likely to occur. Read More…

Guys that suck – Bad Dates you want to Avoid

guys that suck - types you want to avoid

An important part of dating is not just simply getting out their, it is knowing who to date and who NOT to date. Unfortunately for girls, many many guys simply suck at dating, the results are bad dates you want to avoid. Often times when I talk to girls about their concerns, a lot of recurring themes pop up.

For starters, men are not gentlemen anymore. Something as simple as opening the car door can go a long way with a girl. Most of the time, it just never occurs to a man to do that. If you need more of a hint, then I’m telling you to OPEN the car door for your girl. It works. It is always the little things that make or break dating. Another complaint when I get into online dating,  is three fold:  guys are either way to aggressive, move to fast physically, and act like babies if rejected.

When messaging  a girl on a dating site guys, never ask her to meet you in the first two emails. Never bring up intimate stuff, that includes “wow I like your pic, you have nice legs”… big turn off, and if you send a message and she never replies, GET OVER IT and move on. Do not send hate mail, that is acting like a baby. Maybe you aren’t cute enough for her, maybe you didn’t capture her with your message, maybe shes burned out from online dating. Maybe she gets tons of email, a lot of girls do.

You were offended? Your feeling were hurt? You need me to warm your bottle, and get your blankie? Seriously though, you have to understand that girls on dating sites get a ton of messages. Imagine getting 15 emails a day, most of them are simply “hey”, “your cute”, or “lets go out this Friday”. Online dating, girls get way more attention and have to deal with guys that suck.  From my experience, girls are not nearly as obnoxious; but I was curious about the female view point. So here is what I did.

I signed up at Singlesnet and made a female profile with a very attractive pic of one of my female friends, with her permission of course! The results? I let the profile sit for 5 days. When I checked in, I had an incredible, 100 + emails. Unless your a male model, or Ashton Kutcher. No guy on any dating site gets 100 emails. From this perspective, It is completely reasonable why a girl wouldn’t reply to your individual email. Most guys out their, try this out, it will teach you a lesson, and maybe make you think twice about sending that hate male to the girl who wouldn’t talk to you.

So girls, guys that suck – bad dates you want to avoid. Lets get crackin, here are some red flags when it comes to dating guys: Read More…