Posts tagged

dating advice

I want to steal that girls heart and make her Like Me

how to make her like me

I meet this cute girl and as it turns out, I’m really liking her. A LOT. She broke up with her boyfriend recently, but they havent broken off ties completely. She still sees him now and again. But trust me, I know she likes me. She is so flirtatious with me, always saying really cute things. She also calls me up regularly to hang out.  The only problem is that when we do actually get some one on one time, she always talks about her exand how they were so cute together and how she misses him bla bla bla. I’m kind of afraid that at some point they will get back together and my chances will be dashed. Oh and she broke up with him, not the other way around.

I REALLY want to be this girls man. I want her to know and understand that im different and better than her ex boyfriend. Have we done anything together yet? No, I haven’t even kissed her. BUT I know that one kiss would change everything. She told me that she has 4 boys on herlist chasing her (including me), and has not  kissed one of them yet.

She gets really jealous when she sees her boyfriend and her other friend together because she does not have that anymore. She also mentioned that she does not see him that much anymore like she used too, but when I went to her ex boyfriends house for a party she was there andI saw a hickey on her neck. She told me he bit her, is that b/s? She also said she would be going home after the party, but I know she slept over his house.

So question. What should I do to steal that girls heart? I want her to know that I’m the man for her if she would give me a chance. I would never hurt that beautiful soul. I would treat her like a princess and do everything I could to make her happy.

Thanks for the question, there is a bit to get into so lets first start off on the ”beautiful soul” nonsense. Cut that out, and get your head on straight. The first thing you need to do is take a break from her. Your becoming infatuated with her and that is not healthy. What I mean by infatuated is Read More…

Dating Men, Dating Women: U Love Dating?

dating men

This is the third part of a three part series on men moving to fast sexually, women  moving too fast emotionally, how this makes dating difficult, and some solutions. Part 1 was on men moving fast sexually and part 2 was the discussion on women moving fast emotionally.

Men have a tendency that is very annoying to girls. They  move fast too sexually within a relationship. Guys meeting a girl off line and inviting them over their house immediately, getting a bit too touchy feely to quickly, being overly aggressive when you don’t even know each other. What this translates into for girls can be summed up into one phrase: Men are only interested in me for sex.

Men: Girls are just as interested in sex as men, if not more. Sex is fun and it does a body good. The difference primarily is that for women, sex is not on the mind constantly like the way it is with men. Women live in a state of worry and anxiety. While men think everything is fine, girls have on their mind, a sense of worry and concern about there safety, their family, their physical appearance, their finances, their relationships. Perfect example: I dated a girl, everything was going fine. I drove 40 minutes to her store (she owned her own small business) and she introduced me to one of her friends. I took a genuine interest in her friend and talked with her about who she is as a person, what her goals are and what she would like to accomplish.  Read More…

I Lost the Love of my Life, Now I want to Kill Myself

disenchanted life

I take questions regularly (see contact page). I recieved one that is a bit deep and is screaming out for help, so I wanted to address this one as soon as I could. Feel free to comment,  input from you the readers is always welcome.

I liked this girl and we dated. Her name was Ashley. I ended up loving her very much. Her father liked me and told me he would be proud to have me as a son-in-law. Her mother on the other hand, did not think I was worthy, and disapproved of our relationship.Whatever, I never like HER very much anyways, but that is besides the point. As relationships go, mine with Ashley came to a hurtful end. I can’t remember the exact words she used to break it off, but it was along the lines of: “no one loves me the way you do, and I don’t take that for granted; but I just can’t be that girl you want me to be. I want you to be happy but with someone else. Your weight and the fact you don’t have a good job and don’t make good money are a big issue for me and my mom and we both need to move on”.  Not the end of the world right?

I was hurt, but regardless of how I felt, I bucked up and tried to make something of myself so I could be with the girl I loved. I saved up money and went to school and started hitting the gym everyday. 10 months past since we broke up and I was plowing through my self improvement quest. One ordinary day, I was talking with a mutual friend of me and Ashley. She told me Ashley was having a tough with her pregnancy. She thought I knew Ashley was pregnant, I did not. As you can imagine, the woman you love, the woman your working to win back. Finding out that THAT woman was having sex with other guys and was now pregnant, was completely devastating. What followed was YEARS of anxiety and panic attacks. To this day I have not completely gotten over it.

I eventually dated someone else, became religious because of her parents, and tried to be everything that she and her parents wanted me to be,  but never was. Fast foward 2 years and an one abortion later. I decided to end that long term relationship because I was just so unhappy and missing Ashley.

I don’t know whats wrong with me. Ive gone through depression, counseling, test for bi polar (came back negative) . It has been 20 years since we broke up.

I tried to end it all, twice, and failed both times at that too. Because of the wars in Iraq, and soldiers developing PSD(post traumatic stress disorder) I though maybe that’s what is wrong with me. After reading up, I really think I have PSD. I have all the symptoms. Also I get small panic attacks when people bring up that their girl is pregnant or when they talk about how they love their children. Strong emotion come flooding back to me and I am overcome with grief.

Life sucks, and I suck at life. I don’t do well most days. It hurts me deeply when I see 20yr old couples in love, dating, living together, getting on with their life the way I long to do (i’m 44 now). I feel like I have been alone for so long, and the thought of living another twenty too forty years like this is unbearable.

I want more than anything else in the world is to have that life that I feel like I miss out for these past 20 years. That I will find someone who will accept me for who I am and I can have the life I want: Getting married, buying a home together, having children together.

So in addition to  feeling disenchanted with life, having PSD, and living through a life with no meaning. I feel like at my age, I will never attract the woman I want unless I become wealth so I “have the good job and make good money”. See, theirs that you don’t have a good job and don’t make good money” rearing it’s head again.

This reminds me of a song by one of my favorite bands My Chemical Romancecalled disenchanted(that’s why I titled this “Disenchanted with life”). The song goes“your just a sad song, with nothing to say, about a life long wait, for a hospital stay, and if you think that im wrong, this never meant that much to you. I think this little song describes you very well, but It does not have to. Read More…

Guys Move too Fast Physically

moving fast sexually

This is the first part of a three part series on men moving to fast sexually, women  moving too fast emotionally, how this makes dating difficult, and some solutions. As always, feedback always welcome.

“I am just so tired of guys moving too fast sexually at the beginning of a relationship, where are all the gentleman?” I’m sure this phrase sounds familiar to many girls reading this. So why  do men move so fast? Why do so many men invite women on the second or third date to have sex. Why do so many men cheat. Some men may even dump a woman if she won’t put out. What the hell is going on? Where are all the gentlemen? Lets talk about human sexuality for a moment.

Our ancestors were not always monogamous. Throwing ethics out the window for a moment, when a man is in a long term relationship, any extra sexual activity feels like a genetic bonus. Its a freebie, a potential off spring that will carry the males genes into the next generation AND he didn’t not have to take care off it (of course this is not so in todays modern world, but put yourself back 1000 years).  Modern men are NOT descended from those males who turned down opportunities to have sex.  We come from those males who sometimes took those options. Its a low risk high gain situation, as such men are not as particular as women on who they sleep with.

For girls however, an affair is a high risk high gain wager. Its not like a girl can have an affair and the guy, and the guy is going to get pregnant, and he will be saddled with the kid for the next couple of decades. No. It is the woman who will be saddled with the kid. Because of this, women cheat up. Unlike men who low risk high gain situation drives them to cheat with whatever the can get. Take Hugh Grant for example:  Read More…

Love Text Messages. Is He or Isen’t He?

love text messages

When I send a text message to a guy and I don’t get a response until 5 plus hours later does that kinda mean rejection or disinterest on his part? It’s not the first time it’s happened. Sometimes I don’t get a response until days later. I’ve been thinking that he’s expressing disinterest… just wanna confirm it with all the men out there. Thanks.

Good question. Perhaps.More than likely however, if a guy is not interested in you, he will just ignore your text messages all together, just like a lot of girls do. For example, say you go on a first date with someone. Your not sure how the other person feels, so instead of calling them you text them “hey how is everything” with the purpose of testing the water. If you do not get a reply. Your text simply goes ignored, then you then know the other person is not interested in going on another date, or even talking to you any further for that matter. 

Since your at least getting a reply, there probably is some interest their, its just not intense passionate interest. I know what your getting at though, if he was genuinely interested in you, he would reply back right away since he since he would be excited about talking to you, and because he really likes you. Your right to some degree. If a guy is passionatly in love with someone, and that someone contacts him, your damn right they get a reply back as soon as the man gets the text. Why? Because she is a priority to him. Just like  the way a girl behaves when interested in a guy, if a man is very interested in you, he will be looking out for your text messages or emails or phone calls. He will consciously have his phone on him more than he normally does in anticipation of you contacting him. Particularly when a relationship is new, and your dating someone you really like. That kind of feeling is rare however, sort of like love at first sight. Most of the time, it takes men time to have these feelings and desires for you, at least deeper feelings than surface level attraction. So while today he may not have that passionate interest in you, over time he might though. That’s what dating is all about. People can and do become more attractive over time. When and if he develops stronger feelings you will notice a quicker response. Read More…

Battle of the Sexs: Why Men are more Like Women

men are like women

Battle of the sexes, men vs women, guys vs girls.The two sides have slugged it out; but is there a victor? Can there finally be an end in store for us? So that maybe, just maybe, the cliche phrase ”battle of the sexes” can be vanquished from the English lexicon forever? Well,  in a Time Magazine special, “The State of Women”, Time has officially declared the war a tie. Yes a tie. How anti-climatic. So unfortunately for me, I will be forced to continue to use the phrase Battle of the Sexes:

Its no longer a man’s world…nor is it a woman’s nation. It is a cooperative, with bylaws under constant negotiation, and expectations that profits be shared equally

But wait! How can a war, if it was indeed that, be a tie? In a war, their are winners and losers. The concept of ”its a tie” with respect to war, is as out of place as polyamory is to marriage.  Tie’s only happens in games like Football, or Chess (stalemate, I win..oh wait, were both winners or are we both losers?). In a war, regardless of the outcome of a battle, the winner is always the side who’s attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors come to dominate the postwar landscape, and by this measure, Super Awesome Dating is  declaring the Battle of the Sexes to be won by women. Sorry guys. Read More…