Skip to the bottom if you want the lesson from Sugar Daddie, the first part is a background story.
The Philippines is a poor country that has many old world, old European values. The first value is that women do not participate in the workforce. Women are expected to become stay at home moms, while the men are go off and get the jobs. The other value is no ones favorite, arranged marriage (a popular, but fading trend in numerous Asian countries). The model goes like this, if your a poor family who has an attractive daughter, you try and marry her “up” in the world to a man who can take of her, and can take care of you. Marry for love, or marry for money, this is a question that is never really considered since the girl for the most part has no say, therefore its always for money. Now this is not done out of a sense of greed, rather it is done out of security.
I know this first hand from a relationship I once had with a girl from this country. She was (and is) very beautiful, and her parents arranged for her hand in marriage on three separate occasions. None of the suitors she was ever attracted to or interested in, but they were all financially well off. Not necessarily a millionaire, but certainly men who earn at least $12,000+ a month in income. Out of distress for being in her situation, she fled from the first two suitors. She literally ran away from home, ran away from her family, and disappeared for 3 months as opposed to getting married to these men. Having your own daughter simply vanish for months obviously cause heartbreak and panic within the family. The stress from her disappearance caused her mother to have a heart attack. Upon hearing this, she immediately returned home to her village in the Philippines for her mothers sake. The third times a charm I guess, and for the sake of her mothers health, she agree to marry the third man her parents arranged for her. He was a computer programmer from America. His age was 38, her age was 21, and this was a disaster from the start.
Though she did not love him, she married this man and moved to America to start her new life. She would never have to worry about money, worry about a roof over her head, worry about her next meal. Though this man could give her everything she WANTED, he could not give her everything she NEEDED, which was love and happiness. They eventually divorced a short 2 years later, she moved in with friends, I came into the picture briefly, we had a relationship that was a blaze of fire and a blast of lightning…but this relationship, like most things, ran its course and came to an end.
I would always ask her, what are your goals for your life? What do you want to do with your time? What do you think your life purpose is? If you had a magic wand and could make your life into anything you wanted, what would it become? Her answers to these questions are like most people I ask this to, incredibly vague. She admittedly had a feeling of being lost in life, a feeling of just going through the motions and not feeling any power or control over anything that happened to her. Living a reactive life and not a proactive life. Her first answer was that she wanted to marry and be happy. Then it was marry, be happy, and have children. Then finally it was marry, be happy, have children, and have a rich husband. Like I talked about in achieving your goals, these goals are not value driven, they are goal driven. Which is partly why she is unhappy. Goal driven goals are the type where you want that new video game, or that new purse or pair of shoes, or that IPAD. Getting it and achieving your goal makes you happy for a moment, but it eventually the high wears off because their not value driven. Value goals are goals where some over-arching value is driving your motivation. These goals are an infinite source of happiness for you since by actively achieving these goals your always acting in coordination with your values.
I told her to reflect in herself and try and discover what values she holds dear, then to act in a manner that is consistent with those values. Did she listen to me? Nope. But I don’t blame her, I actually can completely understand her. She is in survival mode. She has no college education, she is in a foreign country with no family, she is living with friends, and her savings is small. Her back is against the wall. Which makes attracting a rich man a top priority for her. Now the confusing thing is she wants to find another rich man from the one she already has. I have no idea how this will solve any of her problems, as to me it seems she is just setting herself up to be in the same situation again a few years down the road, but women can be a bit of a mystery I have come to appreciate.
She has resorted to joining Sugar Daddie dot com in order to find and marry a rich man. This lead me to think of some lessons that can be learned from this whole mess that I would like to share with you.
Sugar Daddie Dot Com 5 Spiritual Lessons
You can marry for money, but in the end you will still have to earn it.
Security is absolutely important, but holding the belief that if only you had lots and lots of money, then everything would be fine, is a joke. Wanting to marry a rich man is not a shortcut to happiness, instead its an answer to the above: “marry for money or marry for love” question. Do not trick yourself into thinking that you are getting that fortune for nothing. You have to commit yourself to someone you will potentially never love, be intimate with that person, and put your true desire for a deep loving and passionate relationship on the back-burner, potentially forever. Remember, everything has a cost.
Men think all women want is money (not so).
Just the same way that attractive girls thinks she is doing you a favor by talking to you, it is similar for wealthy playboy style men. Money attracts women, so men who have money also have more opportunities with a variety of attractive women. This sometimes causes wealthy men to build up personal defenses. They take a woman’s attraction and filter it though a gold digger test to make sure she likes him and not just his money. There are gold diggers (which we will get into) but most women are not attract directly to the money, instead they are attracted to the lifestyle and the qualities of a man who can make that kind of money. Its the dominance, lifestyle, and qualities that the women like. Not simply money. Money is just A SIGN of dominance in today’s world, and that is what women are attracted to: A dominate “go-getter” guy that makes things happen. Just like if we were in an Amazon tribe, all the females would be attracted to the dominate male who could chuck a spear the farthest, not the tribe member with the most stuff.
Some women think all they want is money.
These are what society refers to as gold diggers. The women for whom cash is king. This type of mindset make it incredibly difficult to find a meaningful relationship. For starters, any man of decent means who is not rich, is immediately disqualified. Do you have any idea how much money a plumber or an HVAC technician makes? A lot, but not enough for gold diggers. They have a limiting belief that they can not have the life and the happiness they want until they one way or another become rich. As I said, their is nothing immoral about wanting and requiring financial security from a man, but to disqualify men you would be luck to have a chance with, AND to live a life where you put your happiness on hold untill you obtain (if ever) your goal of marrying rich, is simply stupid.
Their are no short cuts.
With everything said above and looking at human nature during events like the previous the financial crisis, kids cheating on homework, or women wanting to marry rich men, it is clear that without a doubt their are no shortcuts. Their may be things you can do now for short term gain, but in the long run your just shooting yourself in the foot. So don’t be like everyone else and go off trying to find shortcuts to avoid the work required to have the relationship you want, the money you want, the life you want. Instead, focus on you destroying your own limiting beliefs so your able to experience the things you want for yourself.
Live consciously, meaning: if your going to make a decision, have all the facts.
Lets do a no BS review of Sugar Daddie. If your going to do something, understand what your getting yourself into. Sugar Daddie is a dating site that connects typically older (but not always the case) men who are looking to date younger attractive girls. Many of the men on the site are willing to pay the girls an allowance for their time. This may seem a bit odd, but just consider that many of these men really are jet setting millionaires who work 60+ hours a week so sending a very attractive girl a monthly allowance of 4 grand a month to live is not going to break the bank. This type of relationship is referred to affectionately on the site as sugar daddie/sugar babie type relationship. You have to be 21 to join the dating site and the site operates in a way just like any other dating site, with both sides paying a small monthly membership. Sugar Daddie has been around since 2002 and has been featured on TV in the past. It is one of the more popular “wealthy” dating sites. If this sugar daddie/sugar babie type relationship might be something you want to explore then go sign up at sugar daddie dot com, just understand what it IS, and what is is NOT.