Your a liar. I’m a liar. Were all liars. Everyone tells white lies about themselves so how do you spot the agregious online dating liar? Since its true that were all a bit deceptive to some degree. First off, why doesn’t everyone come completely clean about themselves? Well my experience is that you need to lie enough to get to coffee but also not to lie too much to not get to bed. You have to sell yourself a bit, boast and embelish since most go off soley the profile picture you have up. Sure, sites like Eharmony and Chemistry.com, with there surveys and questions and more surveys and more questions..(man does that take forever!)… does a good job at matching, that people do find love and do end up happy, it is no questin that it always comes back to the picture.
It boils down to what you look like, or more specifically what you look like in your pic. Sure what you write is important, long or short messages, when to ask out, when to exchange numbers, but I can tell you, If a guy thinks you look hot in that pic, he will have no problem meeting you, regardless of what you say. Seriously! For guys though, girls really do care about what you write. With girls I would say the profile picture is 90% of the battle and as long as you don’t say anything stupid your in. Kind of like in real life if you think about it, but you do need to focus on that last 10%, your approach and how you sell yourself do matter.
Guys are Creepy
So I meet this very cute Brazilian Au-pair (type of foreign exchange student program) of a dating site and we went out for a nice evening in Darien CT. Since I write Super Awesome Dating I am always curious to get a female perspective on dating and online dating, this whole crazy process. First off, she told me that they don’t do online dating in Brazil. There is enough culture and social events that meeting people is easy, in contrast to the US. Once your out of High School and College, the most obvious question if your single is how the heck do I meet quality people? This is why online dating is so popular here.
She told me about her first experience meeting a guy off a dating site. The guy she meet she thought he was really cute, blond hair, blue eyes, said he was 6 ft and 180 lbs. So she meet him at a cafe one night. The “date” if you can call it that lasted a whole 5 minutes. Why? Because guys are creepy that’s why! The guy showed up and he was not a 6ft blond blue eyed white guy, he was a 5 ft 7 in Indian dude. I was a bit shocked by this. Why would any guy think that’s a good idea? Remember what I said:
lie enough to get to coffee, but not too much to not get to bed
Follow that model and you will have much more success. Both guys and girls. Girls lie just as much as guys but about different things. So this go me searching the internts to find out how to spot the online dating liar. I was curious as to what guys and girls lie about because obviously we lie about different things. Here is what I found
GIRLS LIE ABOUT WEIGHT (NOT BIG SURPRISRE)
From this chart, we see that girls tend to be heavier in real life compared to what they say on a dating profile. Guys on the other hand, are distributed evenly meaning in all seriousness that guys are a bit clueless as to how much they actually weigh; but since you see dots in “lighter in real life” and you see just as much dots in “heavier in real life” guys don’t seem to be purposefully deceptive about this.
GUYS LIE ABOUT HEIGHT (AGAIN, NOT BIG SURPRISE!)
Now its the guys turn to get pummeled a bit. Guys lie about height. In reality guys are shorter by about an inch than what they say they are. Girls, once you start talking to guys over 6 ft 2 inch, there truthful. The sweet spot seems to be guys from 5-8 to 6 ft. So if on a profile the guy says he is 5 ft 10 inch, most likely he is 5 ft 9 inch. This is another thing, its about an inch deceptive for the most part. Guys tend to do a huge round up. For example, if a guy is 5 ft 9.2 inch he rounds up to 5 ft 10 inch. All you short guys out their you could always buy some shoe lifts. Don’t think I’m making fun of you, I’m only 5 ft 10…or am I?
SUPER AWESOME SHOE LIFTSMEN AND WOMEN LIE ABOUT THIER AGE
Well this is interesting. So basically what this is telling us is that women in the their late 40’s start to lie about their age. For men, they start to lie about their age when there between 30-35.Also, in regards to online dating profiles, women’s pictures tend to be older than guys. Typically 18 months old for women and 7 months old for men. Here is what I think from a 20 yr old’s perspective.
Why a 30 yr old guy would lie about his age
Girls tend to be attracted to guys based on status. What qualifies for status changes with age. For example a teen girl wants to date the hot teen guy because he’s hot and all the girls want to him. As girls age into their 20’s they want to date a tall good looking guy, doesn’t need to be Brad Pitt mind you, just takes care of himself and have a good job. Most guys instinctively know this, and if your 34 and you want to date that cute 22 yr old with that sexy as hell pic on that dating site…well you might just be tempted to fib lie a bit because that 22 yr old girl is looking for a status, but the kind of status she wants is the 27-28 yr old good looking guy with the good job, not the guy pushing 36-37.
Why a single woman in her late 40’s lies about her age
Guys understand this, age is a big deal for women. They hate getting older and seeing young cute girls. For a girl, turning 25 is a big deal, 30 is terrible, 40 sucks, and being single at 50 is a nightmare for many. This is why a single woman in her late 40’s lies. The hate getting older, but they also know that guys are attracted to youth and beauty not “status”. Like that 34 yr old wanting to date a 22yr old instead of a 37 yr old. Women know this. Just the way it is I guess.(Images courtesy of Cornell University )
Teen Lies about Age, Sends two unlucky guys to Jail
Just another reason why you shouldent lie.