How To Get A Man to Do What You Want

expectations How To Get A Man to Do What You Want

Women need to set standards of expectations for the guy their with from DAY ONE. BUT most girls screw this up from the get go. So lets go over how to not screw it up;  so not only can you can get the man that you want, you can get that man to DO what you want. Men do not pick up on cues that well, more often than not, we are not just going to figure by picking up on your looks or emotional cues. We are not that smart and we are also not mind readers. But what we are though, is PROBLEM SOLVERS. Truly understanding this in your heart of hearts, you will be able to get a man to do what you want.

First off, just shut the hell up. I apologize for the harsh words, but it has to be said, if only to make sure your paying attention :). Men are natural problem solvers, be it fixing that hole in the wall, finding out why the heck the chair squeaks when I sit to the right, why the car is making that clicking noise, and even trying to understand what women want. When meeting a man who is brand new in your life, eventually the topic of what you like is going to come up, and this is where girls go wrong.

The conversation will start off something like this: “so what do you like, what makes you happy?” Translation: The guy is trying to solve a problem, the mystery that is woman. The guy knows nothing about you and is trying to figure you out. He is trying to find actions he can do that you like, so he can demonstrate he has the qualities you want, even if he is just faking it. He is trying to find common ground with you about things you both like to set off a spark and get the ball rolling. He is trying to find out if your someone HE is interested in as well. It goes both ways and not every man is going to be a fit for you, or that interested in you no matter how much you want it, but that’s another post.

As a woman, find common ground with a man on things you like, such as activities you both like to do, but don’t rattle off every single little thing you like. What you will end up doing is telling him too much. Your handing over to him a map. You will be telling him everything he needs to know to get to your heart. Absolutely if you enjoy skiing, or golfing, or going to the beach, and so does he, get into it and talk about the fun times you had. Just remember he is trying to figure you out. The problem he is trying to solve is you, since your new and he knows nothing about your likes and dislikes. Connect with him on things you have in common, but try to steer the focus to behaviors you do not want and will not tolerate. Here’s how:

First, how not to tell him. Never come off demanding and confrontational with a new man when your talking about behaviors you do not want and will not accept. If you want to get a man to do what you want you need to be a bit more charming and clever about it. Complaining about how their just are not any good men left anymore SCREAMS negativity. It is a big red flag for a man warning him that you will suck the life out of him. Also, what you project you will attract. If your outwardly negative your going to drive away positive people, and the only ones left hanging around are..you guessed it, negative.

Instead be cute about it. You certainly need to be direct with a man, about behaviors you expect, but slide it in their gently. NOT beat him over the head with it like a baseball bat. Here is a question I’m sure you always get asked when out on a date: “So what kind of guys do you date, what kind of men do you like?”. Most women, and men, have never really thought consciously about a good answer to this question. The typical responses I always get from girls I ask are: Someone who treats me with respect, some who is nice, someone who has a job, someone who likes kids or pets. The only problem with this, is that it is not specific enough for a man.

Treats you with respect? How about: “I like a man who follows through with what he says he is going to do”. “I like a man who shows up on time”. “I like a man who is courteous and opens doors for me”.

Someone who has a job? How about: “I like an ambitious man who is a go getter”. “I like a man who is confident in his own abilities, and can take care of himself”.

Someone who is nice? How about: “I like a man who remembers important dates”. “I like a man who doesn’t drink”. “I like a man who is a positive force in his community”.

Someone who likes kids and animals? How about: “I like a man who is compassionate, someone who volunteers, someone who helps the less fortunate”. “I like a man that has traditional family values”. “I like a men who are reliable and responsible”.

Your SAYING what you like, but what your really doing is telling him what he needs to know. That you have standards that he needs to meet if he wants to be with you. You also have to enforce it too. This is where you get to see what kind of man he is, how he will treat you without you you telling him how to treat you (though you did). If he is late, tell him you changed and can’t go out. If you want him to get the door for you, stand by the door and wait. If a man has true eyes for you, he will do those things if you expect it from him. If he does not, he is not that interested in you. Eventually, with enough practice, you will have¬† a man treating you the way you want. That’s how you get a man to do what you want.

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