This is the first part of a three part series on men moving to fast sexually, women moving too fast emotionally, how this makes dating difficult, and some solutions. As always, feedback always welcome.
“I am just so tired of guys moving too fast sexually at the beginning of a relationship, where are all the gentleman?” I’m sure this phrase sounds familiar to many girls reading this. So why do men move so fast? Why do so many men invite women on the second or third date to have sex. Why do so many men cheat. Some men may even dump a woman if she won’t put out. What the hell is going on? Where are all the gentlemen? Lets talk about human sexuality for a moment.
Our ancestors were not always monogamous. Throwing ethics out the window for a moment, when a man is in a long term relationship, any extra sexual activity feels like a genetic bonus. Its a freebie, a potential off spring that will carry the males genes into the next generation AND he didn’t not have to take care off it (of course this is not so in todays modern world, but put yourself back 1000 years). Modern men are NOT descended from those males who turned down opportunities to have sex. We come from those males who sometimes took those options. Its a low risk high gain situation, as such men are not as particular as women on who they sleep with.
For girls however, an affair is a high risk high gain wager. Its not like a girl can have an affair and the guy, and the guy is going to get pregnant, and he will be saddled with the kid for the next couple of decades. No. It is the woman who will be saddled with the kid. Because of this, women cheat up. Unlike men who low risk high gain situation drives them to cheat with whatever the can get. Take Hugh Grant for example:
Women would NEVER do this. If a woman is going to have an affair, they are going to go cheat up and go after someone who has better genes than their current mate. Be it a physically more attractive male whose phenotype shows of good genes, or a man who shows off good genes through abilities like creativity, music, ambition, risk taking so forth. A woman who cheats is willing to risk the destruction of her current relationship and the risk to become saddle with child because that is how instinctively important good genes are to women.
This is why men get a bad wrap. Girls just look at men and they think that the only thing men want most of the time is sex. That we will sleep with anything, that were dogs. Well ladies, taking a look at the Hugh Grant example above, there is some obvious truth to that mentality. What is ironic though about that mentality that so many women hate and complain about, is actually the very reason you and I are here to begin with, IS because of those men with that high sex drive. Men with a high sex drive are more likely to have their genes passed on to the next generation, which will have the high sex drive. This then results in those genes going on into the next generation of people, which will then go onto the next generation, and the next, and so forth and so on, into infinity and beyond.
So guys move too fast physically because of genes and biology. We have an inherent high sex drive so our genes pass on to the next generation. Since guys have a low risk high gain outcome of having lots of partners, this encourages promiscuity among men. So what can you do as a woman? Simple. First off, understand that most men you meet want to sleep with you. That does not mean they want to date you and marry you, a lot of guys are simply sexually and physically turned on by your curves, and if given the chance, will have sex with you. So, when you start dating someone new, or even if your just seeing a new guy but not technically dating. Don’t have sex for 60 days with him. No oral, no getting naked, no sleeping (literally) together. Nothing. Take a genuine interest in him, and if he sticks around after 60 days, chances are he like you.
So as a modern society, we have to resolve these inner conflicts. What is socially acceptable and considered ethical is not always what our genes are telling us to do. It is important however for all of us, guys and girls, to live more consciously and understand human sexuality a bit better. I hope this post sparks curiosity to learn more, and I hope you share it with others as my goal is to tell it how it is so anyone reading this can be empowered to make informed ethical choices. To see the hidden adaptive logic behind our sexuality and male and female preferences. So you can decide what kind of man or woman you are. Like, ask yourself, am I the kind of woman who is going to go more for the physically attractive guy over the good provider guy, and for men to understand what type of guy they should strive to be. Best case is to be good looking and a good provider, but try to understand better which one is a better fit for you to attract girls. Maybe not the bets looking? Then focus on building your status by becoming fun, popular and busy. Women love those types of men. More on that in the future.