Your thoughts create your reality, understanding that is the first step towards fixing your lack of interest in life. Hi everyone, thanks for reading. If you have been reading this site for a while now you know how I believe personal development is integral to finding a fulfilling relationship. Our lives are made up of 4 main areas: Financial, Career, Personal Development, and Relationships (romantic, friendship, family, that sort of thing). Often, when unhappiness sets in, we feel a void in our life. Something is missing and where not sure what. Instead of staring into that void directly to see what is actually missing. We go looking for a quick fixes to fill that void in our lives by sometimes amplifying one other area of our life to make up for the lack in another. This is what I mean:
Financial: If only I was rich, then I could be happy.
Career: If only I worked for that >brand name< company, then I could be on the career track I want.
Personal Development: I’m sitting here trying to attract aforementioned money and attract aforementioned job, so where the heck is my stuff!? This doesn’t work!
Relationships: If only he loved me, then everything would be good. If only things worked out with her, I could have been the happiest man on earth.
This void in life is dangerous stuff, not simply because it is a source of unhappiness that causes pain and frustration, but more so because it causes a lack of interest for your life.
Lack of Interest is What is Holding You Back
Bear with me since this will take a little explaining for you to understand properly. Apathy is our word for that feeling of indifference, that lack of feeling for anything positive. It is this state that I believe why so many struggle to find love and happiness. Love and happiness is only found when you take steps towards becoming your higher self, which is just another way of saying “become the best that you can be”. To attract the best, you need to become the best. But your not just going to become the best you can be by sitting around with a lack of interest, and lack of passion for living.
Often, the path to achieve what you want is laid out before you but your lack of interest in life has demotivate your desire to take action, or not enough action. So what can you do to change this so you do not always fall into the same pattern and actually get something done in a positive manner for yourself?
Like I said in the first sentence, your thoughts create your reality. Let me explain in more detail what I mean. When being plagued by long term apathy and lack of interest, you start to confuse creation and perception as something your PASSIVELY experiencing when in fact your ACTIVELY creating it.
Does this describe you: You feel like your just existing and not living? That your simply an observer to the world and not a participant. The world is a shade of beige, lifeless and flat. With nothing inspiring you. Nothing motivating you. Just going through the motions of everyday life waiting and hoping for something, anything to happen. You start to think that maybe life is just really just about paying the bills, going to work, going home, being alone, rinse and repeat. Sure short burst of happiness may inject themselves into your life every now and then, but happiness is not your default state. Your default state is more accurately described as bored with life or even depressed about certain aspects. Your life does not have to be like this.
How To Fix Your Lack of Interest
First off, stop denying your ability to create your reality. You chose how you wish to perceive something. Their is no such thing as passive perception. If your seeing the world as lifeless and flat, just going through the motions of survival then that is what will become your reality. This is where the challenge lies for all of us. You simultaneously interpret the world experiences around you through your “lack of interest” filter, but at the same time your also creating your experiences. What happens like I talked about in how to control your emotions is a spiral. In this case a negative spiral. One where your negative perception of reality causes negative life experiences.
Because of these negative experiences you start to think your just living life and passively interpreting things while forgetting your also creating your reality, which in turn creates more negative experiences. How do you put the breaks on this negative downward spiral and flip it so it is a positive upward spiral? This is something that takes years to get right. The most practical advice I can give to change your perception of world in an effort to feel better about yourself is to start taking action and forming goals:
1) Answer this question: If I gave you a magic wand and you could do, have, be ANYTHING, what would be your answer?
2) Whatever your answer was, make it your goal.
3) The next step is to find what values are driving your goal.
4) If the goal has no value, it is just a goal in and of itself. Go deeper and discover what that the values are. If you find no values for your goal do it over and pick a new goal until you find one that is value driven as opposed to goal driven.
The point of discovering what the values are behind your goals is critical because achieving goals with no value driven motivation behind it result in a quick shoot of happiness that fades quickly. A goal like simply wanting to date more or have more sex, or have a serious relationship will make you happy for a short time if you achieve it, but it will fade because vague goals are goals in and of themselves with no values driving them. Remember act on values not goals.
Let’s take the desire for a healthy long term relationship. Just wanting that is a goal in and of it self. As such, desiring it is a waste of time. Your just tricking yourself into thinking that you need a long term relationship in order to be happy, and that you can not be happy until you achieve it. This is nonsense. Go deeper. Perhaps you want to be in a long term relationship because you value being loved, appreciated, and cared for. Once you realize that, being love, appreciated, and cared is really what is driving your desire for a long term relationship, THAT should become your goal. Once you start to take positive actions towards those goals your perception and creation of your life will begin to change for the better. You just may end up attracting a long term relationship by focusing on the values behind the goal. Be value oriented, not goal oriented and happiness will always be around because your always acting in a positive way that is congruent with your values. Make sense?
Taking Action to Change Your Reality and Fix your Lack of Interest
To fix your lack of interest you need to improve your emotional state which will improve how you perceive and create your reality. You DO NOT and CAN NOT control your emotions directly, but you can only control your ACTIONS which effect your emotions. Follow the steps on finding value driven goals and you will discover what actions to take to improve your emotional state to become your higher self. Take note:
1) Once you discover a value driven goal, make a commitment to making it happen. Even if you do not know how it will come about, make that commitment to yourself and the world that come hell or high water your going to do it.
2) Value driven goals are specific. Make specific goals. Vague goals are just a delay tactic for our mind since it does not have to lock onto anything. Their is no next step. Avoid this.
3) Having clear goals give our minds that next step. When you have your eye on the prize you will not notice the obstacles in your way.
If your feeling apathetic, a lack of interest, or bored and/or depressed about life your not broken. Based on what your perceiving your life to be like, boredom or depression is probably an accurate response. The problem however is that you fail to realize your in a negative downward spiral that causes it self to feed itself ever more.Your also not sure how to put the breaks on this spiral, and you may not even be aware your creating fuel for the fire. However the small shown here will steps you towards improving your emotional state in order to attract the things you want for yourself, particularly an amazing relationship.
The default state is Joy
Why is the default state joy? If you believe me that your thoughts create your reality, that you have the power to create and interpret your reality however you want. Then why would you create anything less than joy for yourself? Your feeling are an emotional compass. Like having your hand on a buring stove, the pain tells you to stop doing that! Same with your emotions. A lack of interest or passion, a feeling of boredom or depression is like having your hand on a hot stove and your spirit is yelling at you to stop doing that! Try to take your hand off the stove even if your not sure how yet.