Date More by Making Friends: Here’s How

find a date Date More by Making Friends: Heres How

If you want to date more, start by making new friends. I sincerely believe that for most of you who desire to improve you dating and romantic lives; the easiest way to go about doing just that is for you to start by increasing your social network and make new and interesting friends. By making friends and having a larger social network of people to spend time with; I hope you will never have to ask the question I get asked all the time: Where do I meet people?

So smart guy, where do I meet people?

Where do I meet people, where do I meet quality people, where do I meet the right people to date? These questions are asked from my experience by people who are single, or people who are recently single thanks to and ending of a long term relationship, or by single people who want to increase the diversity and quality of the people they come into contact with. The obvious (and correct) answer is everywhere (I’m so smart)! Ok, I know you already know that, so lets dive deeper.

Date More with social networking

Social networking’s real value is in forming relationships. Internet marketers always say the money is in the list. Why? Because having a prospective list of individuals with whom you have a relationship with and that you could leverage with and market to in the future = money. The key point is to focus on the phrase ” the money is in the list” is not simply a list of emails, it is the relationship part that is valuable. The same goes for looking for a new job. When your out of work and you have no network, your on the outside looking in. But if you have a network of contacts with whom you have a relationship with, then it is much much easier to get another job. The key though is to have a genuine relationships and to nurture and grow those in your social network. NOT simply to have a bunch of business cards, or a Linkedin profile and expect things to magically happen. When your out of work, its too late to make your social network. You have to make it before you need it. So what does this have to do with dating and romance? The same principles apply. Genuine relationships that are nurtured, a network to reach out to, making your social network before you need it. The money is in the list and the love is in the social network.

Bars and Clubs

Bars and clubs are fine as an avenue for meeting new people, but their not the best place if your goal is to make new friends. One strategy for making a bar or club work for you is that you may want to consider becoming a DJ or a part time bartender. This is a good as a way to network and meet interesting, attractive girls, and make guy friends. Because who has the highest status at a bar or club? The DJ and the bartender. Now that is one solution for men, but I don’t expect most to take that route. I have no interest in becoming a DJ, and what about women? What do they do? The main problem with bars and clubs lies with the nature of bars and clubs. They are not natural environments to meet new people. Remember, were talking about dating more through making new friends. Clubs and bars are places you go with the current friends you have already to meet someone from the opposite sex. Their NOT places you go to with the goal of making  new friends and expanding your social network. Also for many, the idea of going to a club or a bar is off putting, particularly as we get older. We start to come up with excuses to NOT go out, and just avoid the rest of the world. Besides who want to talk to strangers? Your mom told you not to talk to strangers when you were little, and she was right when you were little. But your not little anymore and it is time to get over the fear of rejection and the pressure of having to come up with something witty to say.

Closed Social Networks

I’m a young guy, but I have come to appreciate the importance of social networking for two reasons. The first is that when I was in a long term relationship and I was in a job that took 60 hours a week from me I found myself in what I describe as a “closed social networks”. These are networks in which you hang out with the same small group of people and do the same thing week after week. While their is nothing wrong with this per say, your setting yourself up for disaster. What happens to your social network (as it did with me) when you end that long term relationship and you quite that dreadful life sucking job? Exactly, say goodbye to your social network. That is the problem with close social networks, their to risky.

Open Social Networks

In contrast to closed social networks, open social networks are ones in which you have a contact in a completely different social groups. For example I currently have friends from the gym, social media club, toast masters, college, childhood, my former job, Internet, just to name off a few. These networks are NOT intertwined, meaning the gym friends are NOT people I worked with.  The advantage of having an open social network is that it allows you to learn new things about yourself and enjoy life more. Here is a tip, think of one thing you would like to do or become? How about a raw foodist? There are plenty of communities around that? Or how about become a marathon runner? How about doing both?It takes some effort, but sit down and really think about what you want.

Having a large active open network allows you to meet all kinds of people. Dating is a numbers game and the more nets you put out their, the greater chance you have of hooking a keeper fish. Also, a smaller network of friends who share the same friends and experience offer less opportunity to grow. Going to the same club every weekend with the same 3 girls gets boring. Just like playing cards with the same 4 guys every weekend gets boring. I live to experience and empower myself and others to live a life worth living, not to do the same thing over and over. It is also better (in my opinion from my experience) for your spirit, mental health, and happiness to have a large open social network.

Your Mission: Make New Friends and Throw a Party for them in 10 Months

I could go on and on about this subject since I love writing about dating, relationships, social networking, and personal development, but I think it is time to wrap this up. Date more by making friends. I want you to do just that, make more friends asap. I want you to wake up everyday with the positive intent to make more friends. Your goal should be to make 20 new friends over the next 10 months. The goal is to expand your social network so you have a greater opportunity to meet that special someone through a mutual friend. Friends of friends often share the same interest, as such, meeting someone of the opposite sex with the same interests as you have is a fantastic foundation for dating and a hopefully a relationship. Your goal is to make friends, not to date or pickup anyone. It will take sometime to find your diamond in the rough (meaning new friends and that special someone) but do not give up. Anything worth having takes work. That is why it is critical to have the right mindset and intention when intending to attract and make new friends since their will be roadblocks. But when you have your eye one the prize you will overcome anything in your way. Your mission is to make friends to enrich your own life. When you enrich your life, you take one step closer to being your best, and  when your at your best, you will attract the best . Over time you will find yourself with a supportive network of friends.

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