April 2010

How to Really Show You Love Her

show her you love her

Is it…flowers once a month? Nice effort but no. OK how about flowers once a week. Very thoughtful Mr Romantic but again no. Alright how about flowers everyday with a card having the words “I love you” cut out of a newspaper? You sir, are a stalker (don’t cross the line of creepiness).

How could sending her flowers NOT be a good way to show you love her? Don’t get me wrong it is a good way, but what your not getting is the underlying reason WHY it is a good way. In our head, regardless of it being real or fake, their is a burden as a man to provide and protect. This is our way of demonstrating our love and commitment for the women in our life. This is done through work obviously, and work for men is not simply work, it is who we are and it is how we define ourselves. Simply put, work IS us.

The consequences of this mean that our self worth and a lot of other feelings are tied up in it. For example, the immigrant worker who is employed as a janitor in order to provide for his family and allow his children to go to college and take care of his wife. Yea it is a menial job, but he is busting his ass to providing financial security for his family and his wife. Though he may have little time with them to profess is love for them, it is through work his way of showing them his love for them.

Lets take it one step further. It is really not that far of a stretch for most guys to think longer hours = more love..and you know what? Most of us would not have it any other way. However, guys assume women understand all this. We just assume that she understands that we are doing it for her. However, If you do assume this then, for the most part, you are wrong.

What most guys over look, which also happens to be the answer to how you show her you really love her, is this: provide EMOTIONAL SECURITY. Sending flowers regularly does helps demonstrate you love her, and it also helps provide that emotional security she needs. It helps her not worry as much about the question “does he love me“. Read More…

Spiritual Lessons from a Sugar Daddie

sugar daddie Spiritual Lessons from a Sugar Daddie

Skip to the bottom if you want the lesson from Sugar Daddie, the first part is a background story.

The Philippines is a poor country that has many old world, old European values. The first value is that women do not participate in the workforce. Women are expected to become stay at home moms, while the men are  go off and get the jobs. The other value is no ones favorite, arranged marriage (a popular, but fading trend in numerous Asian countries). The model goes like this, if your a poor family who has an attractive daughter, you try and marry her “up” in the world to a man who can take of her, and can take care of you. Marry for love, or marry for money, this is a question that is never really considered since the girl for the most part has no say, therefore its always for money. Now this is not done out of a sense of greed, rather it is done out of security.

I know this first hand from a relationship I once had with a girl from this country. She was (and is) very beautiful, and her parents arranged for her hand in marriage on three separate occasions. None of the suitors she was ever attracted to or interested in, but they were all financially well off. Not necessarily a millionaire, but certainly men who earn at least $12,000+ a month in income. Out of distress for being in her situation, she fled from the first two suitors. She literally ran away from home, ran away from her family, and disappeared for 3 months as opposed to getting married to these men. Having your own daughter simply vanish for months obviously cause heartbreak and panic within the family. The stress from her disappearance caused her mother to have a heart attack. Upon hearing this, she immediately returned home to her village in the Philippines for her mothers sake. The third times a charm I guess, and for the sake of her mothers health, she agree to marry the third man her parents arranged for her. He was a computer programmer from America. His age was 38, her age was 21, and this was a disaster from the start.

Though she did not love him, she married this man and moved to America to start her new life. She would never have to worry about money, worry about a roof over her head, worry about her next meal. Though this man could give her everything she WANTED, he could not give her everything she NEEDED, which was love and happiness. They eventually divorced a short 2 years later, she moved in with friends, I came into the picture briefly, we had a relationship that was a blaze of fire and a blast of lightning…but this relationship, like most things, ran its course and came to an end. Read More…

Military Relationships: Will this Break Us Apart?

basic training

A good way to grow as a person is to leverage the experience of others to help make the right decision or to find an answer to a question that is driving you crazy. Hey everyone, thanks for visiting. This weeks question is from a young girl thinking of joining the military and wondering how it will affect her relationship with her current boyfriend. She loves the guy she is with, but is concerned that the time apart, her unknown base location, and the fact that her man will have to move to be with her, will be to much strain for this relationship to last. Here is what she asked:

I am a 19 yr old girl and looking to join the army within the next 4 to 8 months. Right now I do not meet the fitness standards so I am working hard to fix that. When I am physically set, I will be heading off to basic training. After basic, I have no idea where I will end up, and that’s the problem. I am absolutely in love with my boyfriend of 1 year and I don’t want to lose him. I have to ask, am I just being unrealistic in thinking this relationship will last? Do you think that he would move to be with me? Or should I just come to terms that we might breakup?

Military Relationships

You sound completly dead set on joining the military. This is a curious question for me because  its not that your asking me for proactive advice on what to do, your more asking me to tell you what will happen, perhaps even to reassure you that everything will work out for the best. Since your decision is already made, what will be will be in regards to your relationship. I will do my best to predict possible outcomes to give you the knowledge you need to prepare yourself.

Will He Move To Be With Me?

This seems to be the crux of your question. What if your from Florida and you get based in Missouri. Will he follow? He will follow you if the following criteria are meet:

  • He Loves You
  • He won’t have to start over or put his life on hold
  • He is secure with his manhood Read More…

Year in Review, What I learned, How This Helps You

supr awesm Year in Review, What I learned, How This Helps You

David’s Note: This particular content is unrelated to dating and relationships, though it does have words of wisdom that will benefit you. The first part is a background of the site creation for the curious, skip ahead to the bottom if you just want the lessons

Everyone says life is short, but life is long if you do not like what you do…fortunately I love what I do and I can not believe it is time to give a review of this site (its just a baby with tons of unrealized potential). I registered the domain name Super Awesome Dating on a whim way back in October of 08. At the time I had no intention of creating the site you see before you today. Instead, I was planning on using it as a targeted keyword optimized site for dating offers, the type of junk site that in part motivated me to create this culturally relevant personal development site (ironic isn’t it?). But things change, beliefs evolve, and people grow.

My motivations have grown beyond simply making a living off line, instead I want to make a living by providing value. I have changed my mindset to the point that I look at compensation differently.  Instead of holding the belief that I MAKE $8,000 a month, I want to view myself as I GIVE $8,000 a month. I do not mean to imply that I am giving away money, but rather that I get paid based on the value I provide. I have come to appreciate the distinction.

Making a Living Off Line?

I think any smart person can do it, I have been able to do it, but it is certainly not for everyone since it takes a lot of consistent work and knowledge. The tech side is where most people get hung up. Its sort of like an economic barrier to entry, so that only the smart and motivate who want it bad enough are going to get it. I currently run a Search Engine Marketing company, sounds a lot more sexy than it actually is. Basically it is a collection of websites that dominate the search engines for particular keywords and phrases which result in conversion of around 1-3% for affiliate offers. I was motivated to start this because I did not like working in corporate America. I like most you people, did what everyone else did, went to college, did well, and got a “good” first job. However, it was the sort of job that was high salary, but also high time commitment to the tune of 60+ a week. That is really no exaggeration.

The thought process that myself and all my fellow 20 yr old associates went through can be describe as what Tim Ferris calls “the deferred life plan”:

  • OK I will work here till I’m a senior staff member in my late 20’s.
  • Then I will get promoted to manager in my early 30’s.
  • With enough long hours and hard work I will become a senior manager in my mid to late 30’s.
  • If the business gods bless me I will be a partner when I am in my 40’s, the cost will be that I  have no absolutely no life beyond work…..
  • But the good thing is that I can retire a millionaire when I am in my mid 50’s…fat, bald, and in poor health, but at least I’m now free to enjoy life! Read More…

Three Limiting Beliefs You Need To Crush If You Want To Find Love and Happiness  ////////////////////////

3 Three Limiting Beliefs You Need To Crush If You Want To Find Love and Happiness  ////////////////////////

Last post on what this site is really about was a smashing success. I have found through doing this for the past 6 months that the best posts are always the ones that challenge a belief or violate an expectation. This last piece was no exception. More on this in a later post.

First off, thanks for visiting my site. What I want to cover today are 3 limiting beliefs you need to crush if you want to find love and happiness for yourself. As someone who is positioning himself as a life coach through building Super Awesome Dating into an authority site, I have come to the realization that for as long as I run this site, I will encounter the same questions over and over again. This occurs because every single month new people find this site and its content. These new people have the same questions, concerns, and challenges as everyone else. They experience this site and the message are in a unique and new way for them. While for myself, I must repeat the same message over and over again. This is a really good thing though. The more people you help, the more you repeat. The more you repeat the better skilled you become at your craft. It is really a win win for both you and me.

What inspired me to write this is because it is clear that many people are struggling to deal with the same issues, and are also telling themselves the same limiting beliefs on why they do not have the relationship they want. This simple observation is why the successful are in the minority. Its no coincidence, and its just not simply dumb luck (like being born a certain way, but luck does plays a role as anything else). The real truth is that they have a more accurate view of reality. They do not hold the same limiting beliefs that the rest do and as such, are able to get result because they just do it instead relying on their default failure mechanism to kick in.

Default Failure Mechanism??

If you believe something that prevents you from achieving a goal, then really you are the roadblock and not the excuse. What is going on behind the scenes is that you have a installed a default failure mechanism into your mind. No worries though, you built it, and you can dismantle it. Besides, think of how utterly stupid that is? It basically guarantees your failure. When you do something you don’t think you can do then fail at it, your DFM kicks in and goes: SEE I TOLD YOU SO. Then you come to the conclusion that you were right, you can’t do it, and you should have never even tried in the first place. This is silly, why torture yourself by wanting something so badly, but at the same time preventing yourself from having it?

Three Limiting Beliefs You Need To Crush If You Want To Find Love and Happiness Read More…