March 2010

How to Fix Your Lack of Interest for Anything

lack of interest How to Fix Your Lack of Interest for Anything

Your thoughts create your reality, understanding that is the first step towards fixing your lack of interest in life. Hi everyone, thanks for reading. If you have been reading this site for a while now you know how I believe  personal development is integral to finding a fulfilling relationship. Our lives are made up of 4 main areas: Financial, Career, Personal Development, and Relationships (romantic, friendship, family, that sort of thing). Often, when  unhappiness sets in, we feel a void in our life. Something is missing and where not sure what. Instead of staring into that void directly to see what is actually missing. We go looking for a quick fixes to fill that void in our lives by sometimes amplifying one other area of our life to make up for the lack in another. This is what I mean:

Financial: If only I was rich, then I could be happy.

Career: If only I worked for that >brand name< company, then I could be on the career track I want.

Personal Development: I’m sitting here trying to attract aforementioned money and attract aforementioned job, so where the heck is my stuff!? This doesn’t work!

Relationships: If only he loved me, then everything would be good. If only things worked out with her, I could have been the happiest man on earth.

This void in life is dangerous stuff, not simply because it is a source of unhappiness that causes pain and frustration, but more so because it causes a lack of interest for your life.

Lack of Interest is What is Holding You Back

Bear with me since this will take a little explaining for you to understand properly. Apathy is our word for that feeling of indifference, that lack of feeling for anything positive. It is this state that I believe why so many struggle to find love and happiness. Love and happiness is only found when you take steps towards becoming your higher self, which is just another way of saying “become the best that you can be”. To attract the best, you need to become the best. But your not just going to become the best you can be by sitting around with a lack of interest, and lack of passion for living. Read More…

Girly Man Role Reversal: Is he to Needy or is it Me?

girly man

A question about role reversal where the girly man boyfriend makes his woman feel like the man in the relationship. That’s the theme of this weeks question. Whats up guys? Like always, thanks for visiting. Let’s get right to it. Here is the question:

I finally met a female guy. What I mean is that I feel like the man in the relationship. Now don’t get me wrong. Its great, to a point. I do like that he is sensitive, caring, and loving; but I feel like he needs to man it up a bit.

I get tired of his need for constant communication, always wanting to know what I am thinking, doing, and feeling. Always telling me we need to communicate more.

What is the best way for me to tell this guy enough is enough? That we don’t need to discuss the same 5 things over and over again for 5 hours straight. Does this happen to you?  Go over something endlessly to the point where its frustrating and your head hurts from frying your brain cells over repetitive issues? Or am I weird?

Maybe I’m not girly enough. Deep down, am I more like a man than a girl?

(I followed up and asked her to elaborate further by providing an example): Read More…

How To Know If A Guy Likes You…Really!

Reena Patel How To Know If A Guy Likes You...Really!

Hey everyone, thanks for coming to my site. Today I want to go over the question of how to know if a guy likes you. What got me going on this was when I was checking my pingbacks and I found a response to this post I wrote on why men move so fast sexually when dating from Mr Locario. The whole point of that post was to talk to girls about the male sex drive and how it relates to dating and the annoying problem most girls face when it comes to dating guys: “Where are the gentlemen, I’m so tired of guys trying to get in my pants right away”. My goal was to help girls understand men better. Understand why men do what they do, and why they act the way they act.

Basically in a nut shell, the reason is genetic. We are all descended from men who did not pass on opportunities to get it on with a women. Men with a higher sex drives have more sex and have more childeren. Over the thousands of years and thousands of generations of people, that high sex drive gene has keept the human race going. The end result of that high sex drive is this: men behave like sperm and women behave like eggs. Meaning men will typically not  always pass on opportunities to have sex even with a woman, even with a women who is less desirable than the one they already have. It is a genetic bonus so to speak, since the man may not have to take care of that child (put yourself back 1,000 years). For women though, they have more to risk since they can get pregnant. As such they are more selective about their sexual partners than men are. Girls have to make sure that the man has good genes (physically attractive) or is a good provider (successful, dominant male) or both! Perfect example of this is Hugh Grant cheating on the beautiful Liz Hurly with a prostitute. This seems crazy, but when you understand men, it makes sense (though it is a bit crazy).

How To Know If a Guy Like You

Mr Locario really nailed me for telling women to wait 60 days before becoming intimate with a man. I agree with him on his point that if you sleep with a man right away and he still sticks around, he likes you. However, we just went over why women are more selective than men, and why they will not typically jump from man to man. Most girls I coach are really frustrated by this. How do you know if a guy actually likes you or if he is just trying to sleep with you. On top of that, of course when a girl meets an attractive man (good genes) or a successful man (millionaire lets say) absolutely they wan to jump into bed with him right away. The reason I advocate slowing this down is because most girl are interested in forming a relationship with men, not simply having casual sex. Casual sex, NSA encounters are stuff that most men are into, but not most women.That is why on any dating site the women looking for an “intimate encounter” are few and far between, or are just fake b/s profiles made by a spam bot, marketer, or a creepy attention starved man. But if you look for men looking for an intimate encounter you will find hundreds. I am not making this stuff up, it is just how it works like it or not. Read More…

Date More by Making Friends: Here’s How

find a date Date More by Making Friends: Heres How

If you want to date more, start by making new friends. I sincerely believe that for most of you who desire to improve you dating and romantic lives; the easiest way to go about doing just that is for you to start by increasing your social network and make new and interesting friends. By making friends and having a larger social network of people to spend time with; I hope you will never have to ask the question I get asked all the time: Where do I meet people?

So smart guy, where do I meet people?

Where do I meet people, where do I meet quality people, where do I meet the right people to date? These questions are asked from my experience by people who are single, or people who are recently single thanks to and ending of a long term relationship, or by single people who want to increase the diversity and quality of the people they come into contact with. The obvious (and correct) answer is everywhere (I’m so smart)! Ok, I know you already know that, so lets dive deeper.

Date More with social networking

Social networking’s real value is in forming relationships. Internet marketers always say the money is in the list. Why? Because having a prospective list of individuals with whom you have a relationship with and that you could leverage with and market to in the future = money. The key point is to focus on the phrase ” the money is in the list” is not simply a list of emails, it is the relationship part that is valuable. The same goes for looking for a new job. When your out of work and you have no network, your on the outside looking in. But if you have a network of contacts with whom you have a relationship with, then it is much much easier to get another job. The key though is to have a genuine relationships and to nurture and grow those in your social network. NOT simply to have a bunch of business cards, or a Linkedin profile and expect things to magically happen. When your out of work, its too late to make your social network. You have to make it before you need it. So what does this have to do with dating and romance? The same principles apply. Genuine relationships that are nurtured, a network to reach out to, making your social network before you need it. The money is in the list and the love is in the social network. Read More…

Dealing with Rejection: What did I do Wrong?

whats her problem Dealing with Rejection: What did I do Wrong?

Dating and relationship Q&A time again. This one come from a guy who made friends with a girl, thinks the girl likes him, asks her out, but then is disappointingly rejected, and wants to know why. Dealing with rejection, what did I do wrong?  Here is what he asks, so lets help him out:

I was rejected by this girl an I am not sure why. I want to know what I did wrong and I need some advice. I’m in college and I meet this girl through some friends. Over time we developed a friendship. She is really beautiful and I really like her. Eventually she started to become very flirtatious with me like being playful and fun when were out, smiling at me, making jokes. Just enjoying herself with me. I started to think she liked me because she was giving me that vibe and I went ahead and asked her to be my girlfriend. She then rejected me saying she is not looking for a serious relationship now. What gives? Did I approach her the wrong way? If so should I ask her out again a bit later the “right” way? Is she being honest in telling me she does not want a serious relationship, or is it me? I think she does likes me so I’m not sure what I did wrong.

Dealing with rejection is never fun and I’m sorry things did not work out for you. I  applaud you for taking action and actually asking her out. Your not just going to magically find yourself in the relationship you want without taking action and taking risks, so good job on that part. Unfortunately, she is just not romantically interested in you. It is not the end of the world, it is just a part of the game of dating and relationships. It sounds a little bit like you simply told yourself in your head she likes you. You said it so many times you actually started to believe she liked you. You might have ignored the signs that showed she was NOT into you and payed attention to only the signs that showed she had interest in you. I will say this though, she does like you on some level, and is attracted to you on some level, but is just not interested in you as a boyfriend. She has fun with you and enjoys your company and like the attention you give her, but that is it. So it comes to this, you have two options to take:

1) Continue being her friend, and only her friend, with the intention of simply friendship with no prospects on romance. If you choose this you must accept her as only your friend and be OK if and when she starts dating someone else because she will, and it will not be you. OR,

2) Move on. To deal with her rejection it might be best to stop contact with her so you can focus your feeling off her and onto someone else. This might be challenging being in the same college and having mutual friends and lets not forget good old Facebook of course, but why torture yourself? Attraction is not a choice, burn that into your brain. Attraction is not a choice. Girls you find very attractive  you understand that you did not have to be convinced or talked into being attracted to them, you just are. It is the same way for the girl you like. When she told you she was not looking for a serious relationship, that was her way of saying she was not interested in YOU; and once a girl puts you into the “NO” category in her head, their is little you can do directly to change that. Read More…