Does Attractiveness correlate to being taken seriously?

taken seriously

Question time, and it is an interesting one from “Liz”. Shes talking about online dating and the messages she receives. She is wondering if a guy thinks a girl is cute, does it matter what she writes ONher profile, and if so, does what  a less aesthetically appealing girl writes carry more weight? Her question:

Do guys see a girl they deem attractive and ignore the things they write in their profiles, while taking the things a less attractive girl writes more seriously?

In the messages I receive that start with some comment on my looks, there is almost always some comment made regarding my profile completely out of context. Like they decided I didn’t really mean what I wrote, it was meant to be a joke, or they just really didn’t read it to begin with.

If it wasn’t so darn consistent, I wouldn’t wonder so much about it. But it seems to be a trend in behavior that makes me go “hmm”.

So guys, if you find a woman especially attractive, do you overlook the rest of her profile? Or if she is average in looks, does that make her profile statements more important?

Guys absolutely ignore what an attractive girl writes on her profile. Guys also don’t care  for that matter what she wrote in the first messages if she contacted him first. All guys like to think were not shallow, but when it comes to first impressions, we are a bit. For men it is 100% the way your picture looks that will determine if we want to get to know you or not. Once we have decided that your cute, then we will read over what you wrote on your profile to make conversation, but if you wrote a lot or a little it won’t matter. If you hardly wrote anything, we will, regardless of what you wrote, still take a genuine interest in you to find more out more about you. Like it or not, this is just the way it is.

Girls are not perfect either. There not completly fair in their quest to find love and be happy. They don’t judge on looks per say. Of course looks are important, but status is equally important to girls. Girls tend to focus more on “requirements“, many times in the form of a list of expectations, for example: “At least 6 ft, I prefer darker men, looking for someone with a good job”.   Looks being apart of that list but it is not the sole determining factor as it is with most (not all) men. Girls filter guy through how they look AND what they wrote to determine their status and if they are a good match. This is why it is much more  important for a guy to take some time and write a decent dating profile well.

dating profile
A girl I dated, she has the looks, but she is truly an interesting and kind person, and thats why I like her.

To your second point, for the average looking girl, does what she write in her profile carry more weight to make up for her lack of attractiveness in determining if we will have an interest in talking to her? That in some way she is taken more seriously and not viewed as an object? That if you think your not particularly attractive, should you focus on your content more than your profile picture? NO. Guys just like girls, need that physical attraction. Of course someone can become more attractive once you get to know them, but were talking about online dating, and for men, we only have your profile pic to go off of. Instead of focusing on what you write so much, focus on your pics more and keep you dating profile to a few intelligent sentences that show your fun, looking to get to know someone new and give us something to talk about if were interested. No need to go into to much detail in regards to your online dating profile. Focus on the picture more. For the most part, the cute girls will get the attention and the average ones will be ignored for the most part. However, remember  love is in the eye of the beholder, so you may not be everyone’s flavor and that’s ok. Were all rejected at some point in our life because were not a good fit for just anyone. Were only a good fit for a select few, that special someone.

Creative Commons License photo credit: Gelchy

  • Print
  • Digg
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Technorati
  • Twitter
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • email


  • Tiffany November 27, 2009

    Your advice ignores the possibility (I mean, fact) that many women aren’t especially interested in meeting men whose only interest is in what they look like. Focusing on posting attractive photographs means marketing yourself to the lowest common denominator–the guy who is interested only in sex and superficiality and will never give a crap about who you are. It’s disingenuous to pretend that an attractive picture makes a man “want to know more about you”–there’s nothing in a nice picture that provides an indication that you’re nice, intelligent, interesting, etc. That’s okay for some guys, because those things aren’t important so long as you look good, but not every woman wants that kind of guy in her life.

  • David December 4, 2009

    Hi Tiffany,

    Glad I got you reved up with this post :)

    Yea I understand where your comming from. No woman wants a man to value her on the way she looks. Everyone can agree on that, but that still dosent change the importance of first impressions ESPECIALLY when online. Men AND women make judgement calls based on the way you look, the way your dressed, the way you carry yourself.

    I have spent time with female friends who would not date a man because it was 12 pm during the work week and he was wearing white socks. Why I asked? Becauase he must not have a good job, he must not care about the way he looks, because he probobly dosent have an interesting life, he probobly lives in his moms basement… all b/c that guy wore white socks.

    “Marketing yourself to the lowest common denominator”
    You lost me on that one, Im not talking about putting up pics of you in a hot pink dress. That you should date me b/c im hot and have big boobs… Im talking about putting up pics that project that your 1) postive 2) fun 3) take care of yourself 4) approchable.

    What you project is what you will attract, and in online dating the pic is what you have to go off mostly. Untill you meet someone in person, their a stranger. Its important to creat a powerfull first impression.

Add a Comment