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September 2009

Date Check: Online Dating Site Bumbs Beware

date check app for apple iphone performs background checks

Wow, talk about big brother/stalking/invasion of privacy. Get this, an iphone app that appeared at demo is going to allow the users of the iphone to use social media and the web to do on-the-spot background checks. The app is called Date Check…but should be called date stalk if you want my opinion. The app’s tag-line is pretty cute, “look up before you hook up” . It gives the user a comprehensive report of who ever by just plugging in a name, phone number, or email address. By this, Date Check can help you weed out undesirables, but it can also let you know if you found someone great. The breakout of the information is into 5 categories: Sleaze Detector, Compatibility, Net Worth, Living Situation, and Interests. It gets its data by scouring the web for public information.

The Sleaze Detector will show the really important stuff, like, criminal records (think to catch a predator), sexual offences, drunk driving arrests..the kind of stuff that matters.  The Compatibility is a novelty, it simply uses cliche compatibility tests, like matching up the astrological signs of you and your date and drawing conclusions from that. Net Worth is very invasive. It highlights your assets, and property purchases, even down to the details of that purchase. For example:  how many beds and baths that home or condo has, size of the lot and so forth. What if you live with your parents and are going on a first date and don’t want to get into the living situation discussion? Well too bad! Thanks to Living Situation,  it will pull data from social sites your on like Facebook, Myspace, Bebo to determine if your on your own, have roommates, or bunk at your parents house. Read More…

How To Overcome Shyness

self confidence

Ok so your shy. Like being tall, short, smart or stupid, popular or dorky. You were born this way. Shyness comes on a spectrum: At one end is the total wuss. On the other end is the over confident extreme called  ”Kanye West“. You want to be in the middle sweet spot. Not a wimp, or a narcissistic jerk. Just a self confident guy or girl… or at least be able to fake it.

You can never truly overcome shyness, it is apart of your pesonality, but you can control it, besides, stop worrying. We have all been there (except maybe Kanye…ok Ill stop!) at one time or another. Lets set the stage, your grocery shopping and you see someone in the frozen section and your reaction is “wow who is that”. Well dressed, sexy, interesting. Just the type you would like to meet but always complain to your friends that you never meet. You never get to meet someone like that because you take no action.  Your palms end up getting sweaty, your heart races a bit, you become more aware yourself and the other person. Whats the right approach you think? What if they think I’m creepy, or annoying, what if there dating someone, what if there married. Paralyzed with nervousness, you watch the person you’ve been looking for walk away. Then you wonder where they went, maybe could find them again and then strike up a conversation, but its too late. There gone. You fail. Game over. Read More…

GirlFriend Keeper, love on autopilot

sexy bikini girl

The Iphone has a crazy amount of apps, the “girlfriend keeper” might be one of the more fun ones. You can pick it up for a buck (.99 cents us). First off, the app’s name is pretty ironic as it shows off nicely the emotional capacity us men sometimes have.  When I set this one up, that Jay Z song, “Girls Girls Girls” kept playing my head for some reason.

Keeping up with your girlfriend can be such a pain, “you don’t say nice things like you used to” your girlfriend is always telling you. Well this app attempts to fix that, and is either a fun and silly take on flirtation or its the most lazy way to say I love you! You set up the app to send generically customized texts, e-mails, or both to your special person, and all you do is sit back and relax and let the app take care of all that emotional stuff women love.  Nothing says ”thinking of you” more than an auto responder! Head’s up to the play playas out their. Girlfriend Keeper It is set up for one person at a time, so don’t buy this app and plan on managing multiple girls. Although, I suppose you could keep one on autopilot with this and really work over someone new. I’m sure in the future they will update the app for multiple relationships. Also, the app also keeps a history of all the love notes you sent, might not be a bad idea to read through once in a while what you’ve been sending. Read More…

Focus on what you Control

dating Focus on what you Control

If you suck at dating and sometime struggle with life, remember, focus on what you can control. Your looks, what you say, how you come off to people, how you dress. You have more control over your life than you probably believe, and once you take responsibility for your life and take responsibility for the good and bad things that happen, you will come to realize that instead of being defeated by setbacks, you learn that you  actually get the best results controlling the things you really can, and the worst results trying to control those things you pointlessly cannot. So the two main things you control are 1) your actions and 2) your attention to things, and not much else.

Think about it, you do control your actions, no matter what your feeling may be telling you. Sky dive out of a plane? You may take action and jump out that plane, but somewhere in your head your saying WTF am I doing? Want that guy to notice you, and approach you, ask you out, but instead of making things happen your too  shy to approach him. Whether you do or don’t is entirely up to you, and so are the results. Next up, your attention. You control how you direct your attention. Focus on things that make you happy or focus on things that bring sadness. Its up to you. You can give lots of attention  with much openness and interest, or you can ignore it all together. Much like that guy who doesn’t have a clue and won’t stop texting you.. but thats another story. Read More…

How to Understand men

Real men are ambitious men. It is as simple as that. Remember, Were simple creatures, and as long as you have that in mind, understanding why we do what we do will be much easier. More important than what we say, is what we are. The reality is that no matter if a man is a doctor, lawyer, CEO, or a scam artist, everything he does is filtered through that title, or rather, his status in society. The next part is how he achieved that status. For example, Gurbash Chalal built a 10 million dollar a year advertising company in two years by the time he was 18. The story on how a man achieved his goal is just as important as his current position in life. We all want that story that shows our scrappy, resoursefull nature to come from nothing and achieve something. The final part is how much cash we take home a year, the reward for our efforts. How much we make matters, but not in the sense so we can buy a lot of stuff, but more as a sense of pride. These three things: WHo he is, what he has done, and how much he makes, are the top priority of any ambitious man you meet. To the point where a man won’t feel like a man until he has accomplished what he desires most in life and feels complete and fulfilled in these areas. So, any ambitious men you date, or engaged to, or perhaps even married (not sure if any married persons read this blog) will be too busy to give you the attention you want and probobly deserve.
I write this from the heart because this happens to be my current situation. At 24 years old I had a good paying job and a girl that loved me, however I had a job I hated and was completly unfulfiled within that relationship. What I had always desired but never (untill a few years ago) had the courage was to be an entreprenur, to blaze a path of my own, to create something that can not be taken from: ie fired, downsized, layed off and so forth. And lastly to be in charge of my income and achieve the freedom I always dreamed of. Needless to say this drive resulted in the dissolution of many relationships with many good girls that any man would be lucky to have. Why? As I said, ambitous men won’t feel like a man untill he has achived his goal, he will be focused completly on his tasks set before him. This is me, and I am sure many other men out there. A man on a mission.
Look at any boy. From the time a man is a boy, he is taught how to be a man. To be strong, stand up for himself, fight when need, get up and not cry. Compete, play sports, climb trees, scale rocks, be brave. A boy is taught to protect women and childeren, to look out for his siblings, and watch over the house. A boy is taught to work, get the groceries out of the car, take out the trash, look after the dog, shovel snow, and get a job as soon as he is old enough to. Finaly and most importantly, a boy is taught to make something of himself, to make his family proud, so when he shows up, everyone knows who he is, what he does, and admires how successfull he has made himself. This is all preparation for a boy on how to be a man.
Also, this does not change as a man gets older, it only amplifies the, “what am I going to do with my life”. This only becomes more and more important. Until a man is satisfied, you girls reading this will not fit into a mans life. If a man can not take care of himself, he is not thinking about the house and kids. Settling down is just not an option. Now I am not saying he need to be 30 or 40 years old till he is ready to settle down, but he has to be on his way to achieving his goals. Take a lawyer for example, once the guy who wants to be a lawyer is accepted to a good law school and knows exactly where he wants to end up in a few years, he is on his way to achieveing his goals.
This  drive EVERY man has, it is the core of what is means to be a man. Wheather he is an astronaught, or a country music star, a mob boss, or a school teacher. Being able to take care of himself, his woman, provide for her, to protect his childeren, to give them what they need to succeed. This is what every man wants. Anything less is unacceptable, and is not what being a man is about.

understand men

Guys say girls are crazy, and girls say guys are stupid; because we think very differently, much of the time their is a lack of understanding on the actions of the other sex. If you want to understand men, and why they do what they do, then keep this in your head. Men are simple. This is the big secret. Second thing, men are linear in thinking (one thing at a time) and are naturally ambitious and competitive. Again very simple . Remember, guys are simple straight forward  creatures, and as long as you have that in mind, everything will begin to fall into place. There are three ways ALL men identify themselves: who they are, what they do, and how much they make.  First part, who he is: More important than what we say, is what we are. I don’t care if a man is a doctor, lawyer, CEO, security guard or a scam artist, everything he does is filtered through that title, or rather, his status. What he does: Also part of understanding men is how that man achieved that status. For example, Gurbash Chalal built a 10 million dollar a year advertising company in two years by the time he was 18. The path a man took to achieved his goal is just as important as his current position in life. Being able to say I am G Chalal and I am a self maid millionaire entrepreneur, OR I’m Jake and I am the security director for the local mall, is incredibly important in a man’s identity. The final part, to understand men, is how much cash we take home a year, the reward for our efforts. How much we make matters, but not in the sense so we can buy a lot of stuff, but more as a sense of pride and status. A way to show off, and take care of ourselves and others the way we want to. These three things: Who he is, what he has done, and how much he makes, are the top priority of any  man you meet. To the point where a man won’t feel like a man until he has accomplished, or is on his way to accomplishing that which he desires most in life. Then and only then will a man feel complete and fulfilled in these areas. So, any man you date, or engaged to, or perhaps even married (not sure if any married persons read this blog) will be too busy to give you the attention you want and probably deserve, until  he is satisfied with who he is, what he does, and is compensated well enough for his efforts. Read More…

He has not slept with enough girls yet

sexy girl

I have been dating this guy for almost a year now and at the start of our relationship he said he felt like he hadnt slept with enough women. Its been months after but i still feel like he thinks about this a lot and that the more serious we get the higher the chances are that he will cheat. What do you guys think? and i would like a mans advice and comment on this as well! Thanks

This is a problem. If a guy has strong feelings for you, it won’t matter how many girls he has been with because he would love you and not want anyone else. Why? Because no one else would compare to you. Even if you were his first. No exceptions. You said you have been dating him for about  a year? So ask yourself, does he still feels this way? If your not sure then find out, ask his friends, and ask him. If he is dumb enough to tell the girl he has been dating for a year that he still has a desire to have sex with more girls, then it means he loves you but is not in love with you; and yes he will cheat if the opportunity presents itself. I have written about when to end a long term relationship, and it might be the case of that your in love with him, but he just likes you and is too much of a wuss to break it off for fear of being alone. However, if you ask him about it and he says, I love you, your the only one for me (and so forth) then you don’t have that much to worry about. Read More…