How do I tell a guy to Slow it down?

guys in bands

How do I tell a guy to slow down when it comes to moving too fast without him thinking I’m not interested? He wants to meet Friday, but I want to get to know him a little more first. I don’t want him to think i’m not interested but as soon as a guy starts to move a little fast for me I start to freeze up. Help!

Freezing up? No need to freeze up, it comes across like need  a little more practice an confidence with guys. It also sounds like you have not meet him yet, so I take it you meet him off a dating site? Anyways, the most annoying thing you can do is ignore him, IE: not return his calls, text or emails. All of a sudden change your mind and not meet him. This approach is very confusing to men as we are typically straightforward with one another. Remember the golden rule you were taught as a kid? Yep, honesty is the best policy.

If you don’t like what he is doing, and want to know how to tell a guy to slow it down, then just tell him. Men are not psychic, we can’t read minds, and were usually to a bit too clueless to pick up on subtle cues. Just tell him “I normally don’t meet guys right away, I like to have a couple conversations over the phone first. Maybe in a few weeks when I am not so busy we can meet for tea or coffee”. What is the worst that could happen? He will be offended, upset, maybe say a few mean things to you. Act like a baby or a teenager? If he ended up acting like this then you just did yourself a favor by not ¬†wasting your time with this guy.

What will probably happen, is that he will be more aware of how he is coming off towards you and will adjust his approach. He is now aware of your need to take it a bit slower, and will probably have no problem slowing it down. If he does not adjust and keeps pushing you, and you don’t feel good about it, then follow your feeling. Cut this guy off and move on to the next.

One last thing, what do you have to meet Friday? It is not engraved in stone that you have to meet Friday. Why don’t you make some simple plans for a week night, go out for drinks or a lite dinner on a Wednesday or Thursday? The advantage is that 1) You get to meet him 2) You get to see if there is any chemistry and 3) There is no pressure to do anything after dinner/drinks/coffee. If it does not work out, it doesn’t work out. At least you did not wast that much time and money. If it does go well, then great, make plans for a Friday or Saturday night. So stop freezing up… its just a guy.
Creative Commons License photo credit: Valentin.Ottone

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