Cheating Girlfriend

I have a huge question to ask you . I have a cheating girlfriend. I dated this girl now for over a year, known her for 3 years. I know when she drinks she just gets horny as hell. People in her past would get her drunk just to get at her. Well last Thursday she was at a bonfire with friends drinking. I had left her due to an early work day and went home. Next day she tells me she hooked up with this guy. She feels awful. She says she relapsed back into her old way and didn’t mean anything. Tells me she knows she has a problem with drinking and promises me to stop drinking. Wants to go to counseling with me just to save what we have. I do love and care for her so much, but how do you forget this and move on? Its the worse feeling I have ever had. Anyone have any experience with something like this. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Thanks

Let me first start out by saying: you are not a man if you don’t dump her. (Check out Ex-Boyfriend Guidance Site)

I’m completely serious.

I will have no respect for you, and she certainly won’t respect you because she already does not.

Look I know on some level you are blaming yourself. That maybe there was something better you could have done in your relationship. That maybe you should have been more strict about her drinking. However:

Your just making up ways to excuse away her behavior because you don’t want to be alone and lose her. How pathetic!

First off, no one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect. Obviously there are things that you could have done better, and their are things that she could have done better,  so just remember that. She had no right to treat you like that. Relationships are like contracts, most times their sexually exclusive (excluding polyarmy, or open relationships).  Cheating tears apart that contract, particularly the security of the relationship. Love for a man is loyalty, and in your case my emotionally messed up writer,  there is no loyalty, there is no love.

People aren’t different when they’re drunk. Their inhibitions just get lowered. She acted how she wanted to act fully aware of the harm it would do to both you and the relationship. Things “don’t just happen” no matter how much women try to make it sound that way. She was fully aware of what’s going on. Also, don’t blame the guy, blame her. The guy was acting just as any guy would do, as you would probably do if the situation was reversed. Just because she feels regret later doesn’t change anything. She still doesn’t have enough interest in you if she was willing to do it at the time. Who just forgets they have a boyfriend? She spent a large portion of this night flirting with this dude I bet, before she even was drunk probably. Sex doesn’t just happen spontaneous. She had many minutes and maybe even hours to avoid this. She never should have even FLIRTED with this guy to begin with to get to a point where she put herself into a position to have to make a decision to reject sex.

If you want to get your power back, start acting like a man and dump her. Getting back together, or going to counseling is all nice and dandy, but it is not what men do. You love her and your an emotional mess right now. I know your having a tough time focusing on other things, but it just takes a lot of time to get over it. A lot of time.  I promise, but you will get over it. Talk to people about it, it will make you feel better. Eventually your feeling of hurt/shock/and self reflection on what you could have done better will be replaced with anger/disgust/revenge. When that happens, don’t do anything that will land you in jail. You will never forgive her, but you will get over it. It is a good learning experience. If this ever happens again you will know how to act. Move on and do not spend a  single moment more of your time chasing your cheating girlfriend “ahem” ex-girlfriend.

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